Prospective birth parents can feel scared, confused and angry when they learn they are pregnant. If you have a friend who is struggling with her pregnancy, or if you are a social worker, healthcare provider, or counselor and know of a pregnant woman who is confused and looking for answers, referring her to our office is an easy way for her to get information and assistance, all free of charge. We will meet one-on-one with prospective birth parents to go over all options.
For 20 years, I have helped prospective birth mothers find loving, caring parents for their children. Before considering an option like abortion, you can help your friend see how adoption might be a better solution, while allowing her to rest assured that her precious baby receives a loving home and bright future.
Myth 1: Adoptive Parents are Abusive: Adoptive parents are far less likely to mistreat their children than biological parents. Adoptive parents have to have criminal background checks and child abuse clearance, financial disclosures, medical examinations and court required home studies. Children who are adopted are assured of safe, secure, loving and caring homes.
Myth 2: Adopted Children Hate Their Birth Parents: In my 20 years of experience, this is the fear most often heard from birth parents. As an adoption attorney, I know this is completely untrue. Adopted children realize as they mature the sacrifice their mothers made. Many realize their mothers could have aborted or kept them in an unhealthy living environment. Once they realize the opportunities they’ve enjoyed and the security and love given to them by their adoptive parents, they respect and love their birth mothers for their courageous and unselfish act.
Myth 3: Adopted Children are not Well Adjusted: This is false. Most adopted children have questions about their heritage and where they come from, but this doesn’t prevent them from living happy, successful and fulfilling lives. This is why we encourage birth parents to put together a diary and or scrapbook to pass on to their child. As time goes by, myth, mystery and misinformation develop.
Adoption is commonly portrayed as an adult adopting a child. But, in many states adults are permitted to adopt other adults. Ohio law permits adults to be adopted under the following conditions:
· If the adult is totally and permanently disabled;
· If the adult is determined to be a mentally retarded person;
· If the adult had established a child-foster caregiver or child-stepparent relationship with the petitioners as a minor, and the adult consents to the adoption;
· If the adult was, at the time of the adult’s eighteenth birthday, in the permanent custody of a pubic children services agency or a private child placing agency, and the adult consents to the adoption.
The policies behind these conditions favor care of adults who are unable to care for themselves and permanency for children who have experienced divorce and separation or who have grown up in the child welfare system of our state. A child may be prevented by a biological parent from being adopted by a stepparent who they consider to be their mother or father. Upon adulthood, however, this child can make the decision to legally recognize their stepparent as their parent. There are also many children who are never placed in an adoptive home before reaching the age of 18. The law provides for these children who are not legally available for adoption as a child to be adopted upon adulthood by their foster parent.
For all intents and purposes the law does not create new relationships between the two adults but rather appreciates the existing bond of parent and child. The law permits adult adoption to recognize these important relationships and provide permanent families for these individuals. These adoptions are just as exciting and comforting to families as child adoptions, particularly where the adoptee has not had the opportunity to experience the joy of a permanent family during their childhood.
Adoption is not a means to an end. The focus of adult adoption should never be financial gain but the promotion of security, acceptance and love for adult children. Adult adoption in Ohio supports these tenements amongst families who care for adults that cannot care for themselves and families that continue to love and care for children who were not born to them. This unique balance supports individuals through a lifetime and protects and promotes families in the State of Ohio.
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