Nothing will ever be harder to do in your endeavor to adopt than to create a compassionate and effective Profile/Life-Book. You are not creating this to make you feel good about you. You are creating this to make the birth parents feel good about choosing you. Remember, a birth mother who places her child for adoption is making the ultimate sacrifice for her child, one that few of us would have the courage to make. A birth mother makes an adoption plan because she loves her baby, not because she is a bad person or an unfit parent. This act is the most unselfish, loving, caring and giving decision anyone could ever make.

The documents we provide at our first meeting may be included in your Profile/Life-Book. They should be typed and may have identifying/non-identifying information. You should also answer the Questionnaire and may write a Dear Birth Parent Letter. Give specific examples about each other and talk about each other. Preparing a Profile/Life-Book will provide prospective birth parent(s) with much more background information. The answers should be warm and address the points discussed in your material. When you are finished, read the Profile out loud to each other. You should also attach/incorporate photographs. Your Profile/Life-Book looks best when it reads, looks and feels like a magazine.

The Profile/Life-Book should project:

• Family
• Stability
• Financial security
• Sense of humor
• Strong marriage
• Love to share
• Experience with children
• Why you want children
• Respect for the birth parents
• How much you appreciate the birth parents
• Your goal is not to necessarily make you look good but to make the birth parents feel good about themselves for choosing you!

PROFILE/LIFE-BOOK UPDATES OR CHANGES

Keep in mind your Profile/Life-Book will be given to prospective birth parent(s). We ask you to be open and completely honest. If things change in your life, i.e. you get pregnant/have a baby, you must update your Profile/Life-Book. We cannot present an inaccurate Profile/Life-Book to birth parents. If your life changes (and it will), you must update your Profile/Life-Book so it is honest and accurate.

WILL BIRTH PARENTS CHOOSE YOU?

I have never had anyone not adopt who stuck with it. Every family will appeal to some birth parent. If you stick with it, you will become parents. Waiting for a birth parent to choose you may take longer if:

• You practice an unusual religion
• You have a limited adoption budget
• You have a non-traditional lifestyle
• You will only adopt a boy/girl