Written by Doris O’Brien
How many times have parents in a fit of exasperation told disobedient children “I’d like to send you back!” The only catch is that there’s no place to send them, except up to their room or into a corner.
Apparently, that wasn’t a problem for Torry Hansen of Tennessee. Eight months into an exhausting struggle with her adopted 7-year-old Russian son, whom she named Jared, Ms. Hansen had had quite enough. For $200 she arranged with airline personnel to see that the recalcitrant kid was flown back to Moscow and met there by someone of authority. (TV footage of Jared in Russia showed him about as fazed by all of this as Macaulay Culkin in “Home Alone!”)
A friend of mine, concerned that her young teen-aged grandson was planning to travel to Chicago alone, asked me what I thought of the little boy sent back unaccompanied to his native Russia. I said there must have been another way to handle the situation. She agreed.
But not everyone does. Another local teacher/grandmother believes there are times when a strange child gets so obstreperous as to be a danger, and that those who handled the adoption surely noticed such tendencies without alerting Ms. Hansen.
No child is guaranteed, whether adopted or birthed. And every parent-child relationship is unique. What distinguishes this one from others, however, is that it caused an avalanche of Soviet anger against America. The incident may now be old news, but it still festers, and will likely bring about changes in the Russian government’s policy for future international adoptions — if any are even permitted.
The trouble is, however, that Russia has an estimated 740,000 orphans, and the natives aren’t taking in enough of them. Americans adopted over 1,500 Russian children in 2009, the largest number after China and Ethiopia. Presumably, most of these adoptions turned out well. But whenever a problem develops, others seem to come to light, like the never-ending procession of Tiger Woods’ romantic partners.
It’s been revealed, for example, that 14 Russian kids adopted by American families have died of abuse since 1996. The fact that many American children suffered the same fate, and that even a larger percentage of orphans were abused by Russian families does not mitigate the tragedy. To some degree, we expect a higher standard of behavior from those who consciously make the effort to bring a child from elsewhere into their lives.
Finding suitable homes for orphaned kids is hard enough. But an added complication is that many Russian orphans suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome. In a past column I wrote about the excessive consumption of vodka in Russia, a dangerous habit that is spreading among our own young people. Babies born with this disease unwittingly suffer the sins of their parents, making them harder to place in adoptive homes. Often the child’s symptoms may not even be revealed for fear of rejection.
That’s basically the argument of Torry Hansen, who blames the WACAP adoption agency for not leveling with her. The agency, in turn, insists that its clients are fully informed about those they adopt, and that Ms. Hansen could have sought help from a stateside representative, rather than take the drastic measure she did. Admittedly, there is little follow-up on adoptions once a child ships out of Russia.
Adoption has always been regarded as a noble act. At its best it brings love, a sense of belonging, and greater opportunity to unclaimed children. Incidents such as the return of Jared — and the attempt of unauthorized church members to spirit children out of earthquake-ravaged Haiti — have unfairly given a bad name to adoption by Americans.
As a result of Torry Hansen’s actions, Russian agencies are keeping some 3,000 American families in limbo about the status of adoptions already in progress. Perhaps if the laws of our own land involved less red tape for adopting U.S. children, there might be fewer reasons for our citizens to face the Red Menace abroad.
For more information about Adoption or Contact Us.

|